Friendships
I did not realize I was being bullied. Largely because I did not understand the concept of online trolling or bullying. This was 2010 after all. I was living in a boys' hostel with common bathrooms and one of my hostel-mates posted a photo on facebook of me coming out of the shower without a shirt on. It wasn't unusual to come out of the shower without a shirt on. Almost everyone did that. But no one had their photo posted online.
The comments were good-hearted jabs to begin with, but soon took on mean and body-shaming tones. The pic accumulated some 100+ comments. Back in 2010, before influencers were a thing and facebook was mostly just friends commenting on each other's posts, this was a relatively big deal.
This was freshman year of college and I didn't have a strong friendship with anyone yet. So I didn't have anyone to talk to. But the trolling was getting to me.
While this was all going on, there was just one guy who commented positively on the pic. He said something to the effect of "it's a great pic, don't let the comments get to you." He went against the herd when he could have easily joined them. And he did this at an age when there are strong incentives to "fit in". His comment didn't stop the trolling though (only time did that).
But it made me feel less isolated.
And it laid the groundwork of a strong friendship. A friendship that has lasted more than a decade. When I hung out with him recently, I could see how growing up and sharing some of our most vulnerable moments together had shaped our friendship. We discussed some challenging inter-personal situations we were facing. I generally don't discuss personal challenges with friends. And as far as I know, neither does he. But we did. Because we felt comfortable opening up and being vulnerable in front of each other. Because that is a well-trodden path. Because we have been there many times in the past.
And just as it had 15 years ago, it made me feel less isolated.